Finding Belonging: Jenni's Journey to Raising Proud, Bilingual Taiwanese American Kids

For many American-born Asians (ABAs), the journey to understanding and embracing one's cultural heritage is a complex one. We often navigate two worlds, sometimes feeling fully at home in neither. Jenni, a Taiwanese American mom from the Midwest, knows this feeling intimately. Her story, rich with both challenges and triumphs, offers invaluable lessons for parents striving to connect their children with their roots and a second language.

Growing Up in the Midwest: A Search for Identity

Jenni’s parents immigrated from Taipei, Taiwan, settling in the Chicago area. Like many immigrant families, they sought community among those who understood their experience, so Jenni and her brother grew up surrounded by other Asian families. Yet, outside this close-knit circle, the landscape was different.

"I grew up in a predominantly non-Asian suburb," Jenni recounts. "There were only one to three Asian kids in my entire school. It made me wish I had grown up on the coasts, like in San Francisco, where there were more Asians around." This scarcity of visible representation led to a pervasive feeling of not fitting in, and a childhood marked by self-doubt.

Language, too, was a double-edged sword. While Chinese was Jenni's first language, the pressure of assimilation and a lack of engaging opportunities made it challenging to maintain. "My Chinese was much better than my brother's," she shares, "but we both absolutely hated Sunday Chinese school." This sentiment is familiar to many ABAs who experienced Saturday mornings sacrificed for rote memorization and grammar drills, often feeling disconnected from their everyday lives. Summertime visits to Taiwan offered glimmers of hope for her language skills, but without consistent immersion, it was hard to sustain.

A Turning Point: Reclaiming Her Roots in College

Despite the early struggles, Jenni's connection to her heritage wasn't lost. In college, she took Chinese as a second language, not out of obligation, but "just for fun." This shift in perspective made all the difference. When learning becomes a personal choice, driven by interest rather than external pressure, the passion can reignite. This experience would later shape how she approached her own children's cultural education.

Raising the Next Generation: A Conscious Effort

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Fast forward to today, and Jenni is a mom raising two biracial children. Her approach is a testament to learning from her own past and intentionally crafting a different experience for her kids. A pivotal five-year period spent in Taiwan allowed her children to experience a complete cultural immersion.

"My son's first language was Chinese," she proudly shares. This early immersion gave her children a strong foundation and, perhaps more importantly, an inherent sense of belonging. "For them, being in Taiwan made them stand out in a different way – they had to get their self-identity there. They already have it, and I don't want them to lose it now that we're back in the US."

Now living back in the States, the challenge of maintaining language and cultural connection persists, but Jenni has developed strategies that are both practical and inspiring:

1. Prioritize Enjoyment over Obligation: Jenni acknowledges the difficulty of maintaining Chinese in the US. "All the kids don't want to speak in Chinese; only the teachers are." She's learned that forcing it can lead to resentment. Instead, she seeks out opportunities that her kids genuinely enjoy. "We enroll them in schools and camps that aren't necessarily language schools but activities they find fun." The goal is to associate the language and culture with positive experiences, not just academic drills.

2. Foster Cultural Pride: This is Jenni's biggest takeaway. "If you have pride in the culture and language, it will help a lot." She emphasizes making cultural connection cool and relevant to her children's lives. "Try to find the coolest thing in Taiwan, whether it's a movie or an anime." This could extend to music, pop culture, sports, or even connecting with influencers who share their heritage. When kids see their culture as vibrant and desirable, they are naturally more inclined to engage with it.

3. Build a Strong Community: Jenni's advice for other parents is clear: "Surround yourself with other Asian American or Asian communities." This creates a vital support system and provides peers for children who share similar backgrounds. For Jenni's kids, being with "ABCs and ABTs" (American Born Taiwanese) makes them feel more comfortable and understood. This sense of collective belonging helps counter the isolation Jenni felt in her own youth.

4. Celebrate the Small Things: Sometimes, connection comes through simple, everyday joys. "I really love it when they love Taiwanese food," Jenni smiles. Food, traditions, and family gatherings are powerful, non-threatening entry points into cultural appreciation.

Jenni's Message to Parents: It's a Journey, Not a Destination

Jenni's story underscores that raising bilingual, culturally-connected children is an evolving journey. It’s about adapting, learning from past experiences, and constantly seeking new ways to make heritage relevant and engaging.

Her hope for her children is not just fluency, but a deep-seated pride and confidence in their Taiwanese American identity. By prioritizing joy, fostering pride, and building community, Jenni is giving her children the gift of belonging—a gift she sought herself and is now intentionally cultivating for the next generation.